Old Skool Drivin’
Those in search of something different, loud, raw – and addictive - should try out the Caterham Seven 270S. Our man is still smiling with glee…
Review by Marc Stickley
The Caterham Seven is a special car. Twice I was complemented by strangers, although one did ask if it was a Morgan… School kids stop and stare, whilst passing car passengers crane to see what it is. Someone even photographed me at a roundabout.
The car is soooo low. Getting in to the Caterham can make you look less than cool; I found that squeezing one leg over the sill and down under the wheel, then bracing your body weight in a kind of tricep dip before swinging the other leg over and under the wheel, worked best. If like me, you have legs bigger than pipe cleaners, then you’re brushing the wheel with your thighs. If, also like me, your tricep dips are also not so consistent, you’ll be folding yourself any which way, trying to sit your rump on the low leather seat and then cram your legs under the wheel…
Once you’re in, you twist the key and push the starter button. Everything you need is to hand - your elbows will be on the (optional) side screen support and the (optionally padded) centre tunnel. This test car had the optional lowered floors and wide chassis fitted - I think that meant that people not built like jump jockeys or Danger Mouse can have a hope of fitting inside! The aluminium-ball-topped gear lever is right at your finger tips. The controls on the dash are all either old school rocker switches (like you find in pre-1970s classics), or even older school toggles (the kind you find in pre-1960s aircraft…). Cool and functional, you have switches for the lights, wipers, screenwash, heated screen, hazard lights and a couple of other minor things. Then beneath them, there are toggles for the main beam, main beam flash and indicators. You can reach all the essentials by stretching your fingers from the wheel. A good thing when the Caterham is squirming (or lurching if you didn’t rev it like a madman) beneath/around you. The side exit exhaust is immediately under your right ear and it makes its presence known - blaring away, then popping and crackling on the overrun when you lift the throttle.
In the driver’s seat, you’re at eye level with other cars’ door panels and motorway armco barriers. Everyone looks down on you and people pulled out on it a lot (three time in a week). It looks like it was designed in an age before road safety, crash protection and enclosed wheels. Well, it was - Colin Chapman designed then launched the Lotus Seven in 1957, selling the little car as kits and in factory built form until 1973 when Lotus sold the naming right to Caterham Cars (one of Lotus’ distributors at the time). Chapman’s design ethos was “simplify, then add lightness” and weighing in at 540kg (under half the weight of my BMW Mini), the Seven is certainly light and with the spartan interior, fabric roof and side screens (“doors”) and open front wheels, it is certainly simple. There are no ABS, airbags, roof, stereo, satnav, opening windows, or pretty much most of the automotive accessories we take for granted in modern cars.
The lack of “stuff” makes it LOUD and there’s a lot of vibration, but it’s flipping quick. It’s so light - that even in my test 270S spec, with “only” 135 bhp from the Ford sourced 1.6 engine - it flies. 0-60 takes 5.8 seconds, but you thrash through the 6 speed box like you’re in a demented arcade game. Squeeze the throttle and you jump forward. Mash the throttle and you’d better hold on tight - you have be wary of the back end when the tyres are cold, or it’s wet, or you’ve tried to reach the horizon in short order. The mirrors vibrate, so you have to have good road sense. It’s not ideal on the motorway, but can play at 70 - 80 (if you wear some form of ear defence). If you sneeze, you’re significantly illegal…
The Caterham’s steering wheel may only be the size of a side plate, but the slightest input to it and the front wheels (way out in front - you sit almost over the back axle) make the car jink and turn like liquid. The 6 speed ‘box in this test car is an optional extra, but the ratios are short and you snick up through them in seconds. The engine is most responsive above 3000rpm, anything less and you risk looking like a serious novice driver - stalling, bunny hopping and jerking down the road - you can blame the track heritage for that.
If you find that 0 - 60 time’s too slow, then step up from this 270 model to the 2 litre 360, 420 or if you left your brain on the shelf when you got dressed, the supercharged 620… Me, I did wonder what the entry level 160 would be like, with its turbocharged 660cc engine. You see this little car is so infectious, so much fun, that I found myself running the numbers on the cross-country route back from Bristol to Crawley to return the test car to the Caterham South HQ. With the roof down (until it rained near Stonehenge), that has to be the best three hours I have ever spent in a car. If I sold my Mini, did the school run twice in quick succession - the Seven doesn’t do more than one passenger, but what a blast the double run would be (!) - and made some semi-feasible excuse to my wife, I’d still need a few thousand pounds to build a new Caterham myself. The 270S I tested will set you back a little under £20,000 in kit form, the 160 entry model a few grand less. Get Caterham to do the spanner work and avoid pulling your combined Lego and Meccano expertise out of retirement and you can add £3,000. You could spend some money on extras - the test car had £5,000 worth added - not many you “need” (but I’d have the wide body and lowered floors), some you might want (S pack, with carpets and a heater, plus a 12v socket), but this is a no frills, back to basics adrenaline provider. Get in (eventually), belt up and push the button - but beware, it’s addictive…
In summary - the Caterham is a raw, basic and impractical car. But it is SO much fun - light, quick and that rawness makes it such a visceral driving experience - you focus on the driving, not the fripperies around you. I’m raiding the piggy bank and thinking of a reason to get one that my wife will believe! 
Enquiries: http://uk.caterhamcars.com/