The Power of One’s Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can enable us to move forward, allow us to heal and accept what has happened in the past
Article by Malcolm Levene
Well, I’m up for forgiving, but unsure about forgetting. In fact, what I’ve discovered is that when we forgive, we don’t actually forget. The pain, however, becomes less prevalent, or should I say, less relevant. What I mean is this: someone may have hurt you either physically or emotionally, and this may have occurred many years ago. However, you still hurt, particularly whenever you feel a bit blue or lacking in self confidence. In my experience, it’s only when we learn how to forgive that we start to become free of the grip of an unfortunate incident in our past. It’s one that can continue to haunt us throughout our lives.
I can personally attest to the power of forgiveness and the affect it has on our psyche. Some years ago, I appeared on a day-time television talk show. I was introduced as a Personal Branding expert. The show was produced very carefully, every minute detail was checked, rechecked and checked again. When it became my turn to say something, I felt my words were being stifled. They were. I became very angry, I didn’t show it, but I was. Of course, it wasn’t my show – I was an invited guest, nothing more. At the end of the show, the host said something to me on-camera about coming back to discuss the individual that was being ‘branded.’ I remember thinking, “No way, there isn’t a chance in a million that either I or the woman that was desirous to create her brand will be invited back.” I saw through the BS and it made me mad.
I harboured feelings of anger, resentment and nastiness towards this female TV host for far too long. Then, I read years later that she was very seriously ill with cancer. When I saw her name in print, initially my hackles rose, however, when I read on, I found myself feeling compassion for her. Well, here’s what I did next – being a Board Director of a Registered Charity that focuses on functional medicine, I decided to contact the show and offer the services of the Charity to said host. I might add, the Charity is currently having remarkable success with the specific condition the TV host was said to be suffering with; cancer. In many ways the help that was on offer via the Charity was a perfect match.
… Riddle has a tiny favour to ask. Set up four years ago to shine an objective light on the best of British craft and heritage brands, we want to keep our journalism rigorous and and open to all, allowing us to give you unbiased advice and options. It is ever more difficult for high quality journalism outlets to secure income but support from you will enable us to grow and continue to support small British brands. It only takes a minute. Thank you. Make a contribution.
Eventually, after numerous phone calls, I got through to the Series Editor of the show. When he and I first met years ago he was a Producer. He remembered me! After a handful of phone calls and email exchanges, I sent him the written information about how the principal of our Charity had developed an Integrative Health Programme for patients suffering with cancer. In addition, I supplied evidence to support the efficacy of the treatment. I added that, I or the Head of the Charity would be happy to speak to the TV host and explain in more detail how this treatment works.
So here’s how I benefit from making this gesture: I have taken an action that expresses forgiveness. I haven’t forgotten about the incident, but it no longer feels as bad. In fact, I can safely say that I am over it, really, I mean that. So much so, I am of the belief that forgiveness is one of the most effective ways to heal ourselves and possibly others. It is said that we should “forgive and forget.” In this case, not forgetting the incident reminds me to continue to forgive others, even when I’m as mad as hell at them!